Conservative Watchconservative.watch

Subjects / Subject 0003

SUBJECT-0003

Dr. Cecily Marchbanks

Assistant Professor of Economics · University of Florida · Gainesville, Florida
CR · Critically EndangeredThreat score 1.2 / 100Basis: DIRECT
CONFIRMED

Evidentiary basis

The subject is an avowed and practising Christian, attends daily Mass, and has said in public — on her own podcast, episode 41, and in a departmental seminar — that she holds the positions she holds because of what she believes. This is the only subject in the history of the organization whose file rests on something the subject has actually said and meant.

DIRECT The subject has said a thing, in public, that the subject meant.

In the subject’s own words

"I don’t think I'm what you mean by conservative, but I'm not going to pretend to be something else to get out of the sentence." — podcast episode 41, 14 March 2024.

Field record

Discipline
Economics. Institutions, moral philosophy of markets, and a graduate seminar that assigns Burke in week nine.
Habitat
Matherly Hall, second floor. Office hours Tuesday and Thursday.
Range
Campus, a parish on NW 5th Avenue, and Nashville. Once.
Status
Untenured. Review scheduled 2028.
Pattern of life
7:10 Mass. Office hours. Podcast recorded Sundays.
Identifying marks
Cardigan. A tabbed copy of Reflections on the Revolution in France, kept in an economics office. Says "prudence."
Call
"I think Burke would say…"
Diet
Assistant-professor salary, church potlucks, one fellowship.
Known associates
312 podcast listeners, of whom nine are Watch analysts.
Capabilities
One podcast. One article in a journal to which the Watch was required to subscribe.
Intent
Assessed as "to teach." Under review.
Signature
Burkean, high confidence. The only high-confidence signature on file.
Reproductive success
None. Subject is 34. The Office of Population Modeling maintains a hopeful column.

Subject 0003 is the only member of the monitored population born after 1980, and the only one the Office of Threat Assessment has ever convened a special session to discuss. The session lasted four hours and concluded that she has a podcast.

She is also the only subject the organization is sure about. The other three files rest on a parking op-ed, a nod, and a remark about a fee. Hers rests on a sentence she said on purpose, into a microphone, having been asked. The Directorate of Sightings regards this as a vindication of its methods.

The Office of Population Modeling projects, at 71 percent confidence, that the subject’s 2028 tenure review will reduce the national headcount to three. The projection is reviewed quarterly. It has not moved. A Habitat Protection Working Group has been formed. It has not yet determined what habitat protection would consist of, or whether the organization is for or against it.

Surveillance log

2024-03-14 20:15Podcast episode 41. Subject stated a position and gave her reason for it. Transcript obtained.
2026-02-03 14:20Regional Aquinas conference, Nashville. Subject observed asking a question. Question logged.
2026-04-11 09:02Subject observed carrying two coffees. Second coffee unaccounted for. Inquiry opened.
2026-04-11 09:06Second coffee was for the department administrator. Inquiry closed.
2026-06-30National population declined to four (see Subject 0005). Monitoring priority unchanged.
2026-08-24 19:40Podcast episode 114 released. Duration 51 minutes. Subject discussed prudence. Nine analysts listened.

← The map